About

Shari is many things which total a very friendly nothing. She is more than okay with this.

Her brain explodes frequently. She is amused by shiny things, puns, innuendos (inyourendo), and bad jokes. She likes olives and avocados. She loves saying the words avocado and squeegee. Rarely does she get to use these words, especially together, except when informing people of such a thing. -This, a tragedy.

Shari is easily enamored with everything around her and picks up new obsessions daily. She has the tendency to rescue, be it human or otherwise. She enjoys her beer and spirits and will frequently write while under the influence.

She is an appreciator of all arts, even those that she doesn’t dig. She has an open mind, and others try to fill it with a lot of nonsense, not realizing that she is intelligent.

She is phobic of flattery and displays of affection. She has a heart place… sometimes. She tends to strike fear into the hearts of mortal men.

Shari longs to keep a bear, a goat, and John Coffee so that they, along with her current animals, will follow her along everywhere in single file in ascending heights and live in perfect harmony.

Her Grandmother used to call her Sassy due to her initials. She cannot keep fish alive. She is an awesome cook. She has two degrees, neither of which she is using. She prefers to take jobs that require the least amount of responsibility possible.

She travels frequently and longs for the colors of her homeland.

Once a dear buyer of her art told her that she was esoteric, and she found it to be the most acceptable form of flattery next to the boy that wanted to touch her breasts and said, “You look like the kind of girl that likes Frank Zappa.” In fact, she is. Later he asked if she wanted to masturbate with him in the park. She declined, and to this day does not know why. She was rather fond of him. He ate Turkish coffee flavored ice cream on Sundays.

Shari hates Sundays and loves Thursdays.

She’s empathic and tends to internalize most things.

Her dream job is to become the official titler of all things ever in this world. She would settle for hot air balloon vigilante, cowboy, Robin Hood, or fisherman.

There are three people in this world that she would do anything for. Her younger sister Ally, her housemate Luke, and her Apophrolivitic buddy Benji.

She doesn’t talk in the third person very often. Or does she? I can’t really tell at this point.

Also, she rambles.