Change the channel.

Yesterday I saw a glimmer in someone else’s eyes.

It was a very unambiguous kind of warmth and I swore I’d drown in those chocolate oval pools.

I suppose that’s why I couldn’t speak… There’s nothing that can be said to that.

He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. The way the lines were drawn across his face made him unshakable. And in the shadows of the curves, a tenderness. Areas where only light and dark can kiss and mate. 

I’ve never seen such a face, and I’ve never seen such a kindness.

But, eventually he left and I felt everything shatter as I just stood there, pretending not to see, pretending not to care.

Time did what it does and I pretended to forget.

Until he quietly came back.

I grew embarrassed and felt my skin flush. Words, no friend of mine. He caught me in a moment where I was zoning out everything around me. Concentrating at the task on hand and occupied with the movements of my feet, hips, idyllic thought and quiet breathing.

He said a small sentence in an even and gentle voice. As I heard it I could tell he was the type to make love to someone’s emotions, not just their sex. Fantasizing about that made me queasy, but still provided the tingle.

Before I knew it, we were pressed close, sewn hip to hip. Awkward, maybe a bit scared, but wholly engulfing. A stalwart lead showing an unoften found stability. I felt my muscles relax quickly and pushed my body further into his thick hands. I kept my eyes on a curl that was pushed down behind his right ear and resting in the crook of his neck.

There was something about him that reminded me of jasmine and summers down south. Cicadas bellowing hypnotically and ice melting in thick glass. Hardwood floors creaking as you kneel down to strip. Ripping into a Fiji apple, juice spilling across lips.

 

I wanted to curl up in some part of him and remain in that concoction of stimulations.

I could feel it getting ready to end and I begged something, anything, to make it last just another beat, another step. I didn’t have any words to offer, to keep the momentum.

And eventually, it did end, and I couldn’t look him in the eye. I still couldn’t say a thing. So I turned, not too slowly, and walked away. My version of thanking, of not saying goodbye.

And soon after, he left.

Tonight, I ache.